What do you deserve in life? – by Dr. Sandy Nelson
Did you find yourself hesitating to answer the question?
What do I deserve? Nothing.
But that’s old school thinking. That’s my unhealthy and incorrect thinking from decades ago.
You see, I was raised as a Missouri Synod Lutheran with a doctrine that preached, in my opinion, self-abnegation in church and you-don’t-deserve-crap in its parochial school.
My takeaway experience with religion by junior high graduation was: Jesus died for my pathetic existence and worthless life. I should live in continual disrepute, guilt and shame that He was killed in my stead.
I came to learn that many religions have a knack of guilt-tripping and adversely branding people who believe in something different than what the churches are preaching and demand within their denomination.
I believe in the full and true Grace of God.
In my opinion, there is no religious guilt, judgment, self-denial or shame under the Grace of God. We are free and we are to love one another as Jesus said.
It’s pretty simple when you take out all the bylaws and rules and rituals associated with many sects.
We have no right to judge or condemn others or ourselves.
Each of us has been given talents, skills, gifts, strengths, and abilities for use to better our lives and to help the lives of other people.
So, what do I really deserve? I deserve happiness, love, and success. And you deserve joy, affection, and achievement from your endeavors, too.
We deserve shelter and sunlight and shade and warmth. We deserve the free will to determine our destinies. We deserve the moon! And we have it. We deserve a universe! It’s all ours.
But, be alert to any invalidating thoughts you hold about yourself. They can cause you to sabotage relationships, success, and happiness.
If you do not treat yourself with love and respect, you can not experience the love and respect that other people want to give you.
So, seriously jump on any negative thoughts in your head about yourself. Refuse to criticize your mistakes or degrade your limitations or weaknesses—we all have them.
Self-love is necessary to succeed, to be happy, and to love other people.
Listen to the words you choose to use every day. Are they complaining and critical words? Are they judgmental phrases? Or do you hear encouraging expressions? Phrases of kindness? Words of gratitude out of your mouth?
The words you speak reflect your character. Your words reflect what you believe about yourself.
Stay aware of the words you choose to verbalize. Do they match the character you want to role model to your children, family, co-workers or other people? Are they in agreement with the integrity in which you want to be associated?
Where you are today can be attributed to the words you tell yourself.
What do you deserve? Are you ready to answer the question?
Think about it.
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