Can Other People See Your Self-Respect?

Those times when we experience failure or a mistake, it’s a comfort to have the refuge and encouragement of family and friends who can remind us of our positive traits and abilities. This is especially true if we tend to over-criticize our blunders and beat up ourselves.

But if the only times we can feel good about ourselves is after we’ve  gained the approval and validation of others, then we have a difficult road ahead. If we’re tempted to daily pretend to be someone we’re not to gain the favor of others, then we have lost touch with our own significance as individuals.

When it’s difficult to recognize our own significance we may think that the praise of others is necessary to feel positive about ourselves. Without that positive reinforcement every day we might end up feeling inadequate and rejected.

Everyone wants to be well thought of and liked, but we do not have the skill to determine and control what others think about us. We do have the skill to determine and control how we are going to think about ourselves.

Look, the most important opinion of yourself is not the one decided by polling others. The most important opinion of yourself is the one you and you alone determine.

You are an important person. You are special, unique. You have value. You have contributions to make to better your life and your goals! You have your own thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas, quirks, preferences, likes, dislikes, character, tastes, humor, virtues, talents, morals, and dreams. What you can offer the world no one else can and God made that so.

The easiest person to be is you.

It’s near impossible to have self-respect if you believe you need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You can respect yourself only when you have a self to respect. Then, something wonderful happens. Self-respect brews confidence. 

This self-respect and confidence will be visible to those around you and evident in your conversations and attitude.

You show people who you are through your attitude. Your outlook and manners are always on display. Accepting and believing that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect is a necessary step towards seeing yourself in the correct light. It starts with you—you need to treat yourself with dignity and respect.

Pay attention to how you treat yourself.

You are the primary force impacting your life today. Other people or situations do not determine your life. Your attitude does. Your belief in yourself does. Your regard for yourself does. Realizing that enables you to become aware of thought patterns that set you up to be disappointed and feel defeated.

What is it about your self-respect that others will see?

Think about it!

©All rights reserved 2014, Dr. Sandy Nelson,  ♦  Photos courtesy of

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